


How It All Began (a.k.a. Four Ways Kame And Yamapi's Relationship Might Change For The Better)

by hanekawa



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-21
Updated: 2011-12-21
Packaged: 2017-10-27 17:19:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/298190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hanekawa/pseuds/hanekawa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One way or another, it was bound to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How It All Began (a.k.a. Four Ways Kame And Yamapi's Relationship Might Change For The Better)

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted in 2009.05.27 [here](http://mi-key.livejournal.com/19553.html).

**i.**

 **It began like this:**

KAT-TUN were going to start their national tour next month, and NEWS had just finished theirs last week, complete with all the obligatory post-concert interviews and press conferences. So it was only logical to hold their private congratulatory party together, counting how it would be more fun with more people and not to mention also less costly than holding two parties at two different times – or so Ryo declared passionately, though Yamapi had a strong suspicion it was more because Ryo didn't want to pass up an opportunity to humiliate Ueda publicly and caught him unaware in his drunken moments.

...which was proven to be true the moment Ryo started kissing the aforementioned KAT-TUN member in the middle of the dance floor of the packed club, right among friends and strangers alike.

Also, did he mention there was some tongues and hip-grindings involved?

He was going to be scarred for _life._

“--Pi? Are you there?”

Upon hearing that voice, he realized that his eyes was actually shut tight. Slowly, he opened them and blinked. There was a hand right in front of his face, waving about, trying to get his attention. A little glance to his right showed him that the hand belonged to none other than his best friend, who looked like he'd been doing that for quite some time already – judging from the concerned frown between his brows.

He shook his head and turned to Jin, shrugging his shoulders once to dismiss Jin's concern. “Yeah, sorry. You were saying...?”

Jin gave him a funny look – one that made Yamapi feel like he had just missed an important point that he should have never missed, and Jin was wondering how could he missed such a point in the first place. That kind of always made him feel guilty. A little.

“Nah, it doesn't matter anymore.” his tone was light, but Yamapi noted the use of _anymore_ in his sentence, which made him feel just a little bit guiltier. Jin could do that to you sometimes. “You need to be somewhere right now?”

Yamapi only looked at him dumbly. Jin trying to divert the conversation only served to make him even more curious as to what was it that Jin had been telling him while he was distracted. “Huh? Why?”

“You look kind of...shifty, I guess.” Jin said, fingers playing with the little umbrella on his drink in what appeared to be unconscious gesture. “...or flighty, like you were trying to get away.”

“Ha ha,” Yamapi said, entirely unconvincingly. He was trying, alright, trying his best not to look at Ryo and Ueda's general direction for fear of burning his eyes despite his curiosity and his worry whether they both had stopped their public display or if any of this horde of people realized who they were. He was still NEWS leader, dammit, and he was the one who had to answer should this come up in a media somewhere. “Didn't know why you would think of such thing.”

There was a snort sounded from somewhere over Jin's shoulder. Yamapi couldn't decide if it was a mocking kind of snort or an amused kind of snort. He thought it leaned more to the former though.

“And you, stop drinking. I think you've had enough for the night.” Jin said in true condescending fashion, and it took Yamapi a second to realize it wasn't directed at him.

“I thought this is a night of celebration?” said a drawled voice by the other side of Jin, whose body completely shielded the other person from Yamapi's view.

Jin made some kind of disagreement noises in his throat. “It's still not a reason to be irresponsible and get yourself trashed!”

He was still trying his best not to look if Ryo and Ueda were still on it or if someone with a decent amount of common sense had stopped them when he remarked a bit distractedly, “Isn't the whole point of celebrating is to get one's self trashed silly?”

His so-called-best-friend instantly gave him a chilling look that clearly stated who it was that he deemed most irresponsible at the moment. Given it was _Jin_ – of all people – he thought he ought to give him credit for managing to appear intimidating at all.

That also earned him a carefree little laugh from Jin's other side. “So true. As expected from the respected leader of NEWS.” Then there was a sound of glass clinking, and Yamapi suspected he'd been toasted.

Yamapi just _knew_ that voice was familiar, although he couldn't say the same for the carefree way it was delivered, and now he felt his head start hurting as he raked his brain to identify the voice. Or maybe he actually had had too much drinks. Possibly.

He took a little peek at the dance floor, and immediately regretted it as he almost broke his neck trying to spin his head from the scene before said scene managed to burn itself into his memory. He so did NOT need an image of Ryo in the dance floor being sandwiched by Ueda and a tall person that looked too much like _Uchi Hiroki_ – he could only hope the _real_ Uchi wouldn't find out about this because it wouldn't be pretty at all should he know that Ryo hooked up with the next available bloke who looked like him in his desperation.

“...ting for me. Here.” Jin's voice suddenly tore his attention back to his current company, and he realized Jin was warning whoever it was at Jin's other side to... not do something. Then Jin turned toward him, a stern look on his face. “You, watch over him for a bit while I'm looking for Maru and Koki will you? Good? Thanks!” And off he went without even waiting for Yamapi's reply, leaving a dumbfounded Yamapi in his wake.

...some best friend he was. Yamapi sighed.

“So...looks like you're stuck with me, eh?” It wasn't so much said as drawled, really, with a slurring quality in his voice accompanying every word, drawing every syllable out as long as they could be.

When he finally looked at Jin's companion, he felt his breaths caught in his throat – for he was treated to the sight of a brilliant, unguarded smile on a familiar face, a hint of playfulness at the corners of his mouth just enough to make it look genuine, a twinkle that might have or might have not been an expression of contentment in his eyes, and he didn't so much as sit on his seat as sprawled on it really – despite the fact that it must have been uncomfortable to be positioned in such a way on a cramped seat – his back leaning comfortably on the counter, the first two buttons of his (admittedly) rather tight black shirt undone.

With his expression absolutely relaxed like that, accompanied by a carefree smile which he threw every which way, he gave off an impression of a rich kid who had everything and _knew_ well he had everything, and was well on his way to debauchery – which was actually a fetching look on him, if a bit unusual because it was Kamenashi Kazuya, and _oh Dear God_. he didn't just think that Kame looked quite _fit_ – he just didn't.

He was really shocked to find he didn't know whether to be disturbed or amused.

There was some sucking noises, and it was then that Yamapi realized the other boy was drinking his scotch with a _straw_. A straw!

Just what kind of normal person drinking such alcoholic beverage using a straw?! Honestly!

This notion unbalanced him enough to shake him off his previous thoughts which definitely not revolved around how nice Kame appeared to be right now.

“What are you doing?” Yamapi asked in a voice that clearly stated how much he feared the answer.

“I'm watching a public indecency display at large.” he said in a low voice meant only for Yamapi, although considering how noisy the club really was, of course his low voice was still above his average normal volume. “And am completely NOT wondering why none seems to notice those shameless exhibitionists there, of course I'm not.”

Yamapi was going to ask that if he actually knew drinking scotch through a straw and making obscene wet noises while he was at it was considered indecent, then why was he still doing it? When he realized Kame wasn't talking about himself. Upon closer inspection – as he tried to follow Kame's gaze – he found that Kame was, as a matter of fact, looking at the spectacle Ryo, Ueda, and Uchi-look-alike made of themselves.

“Get a room, you three!” Kame alsmost shouted at them – the keyword being almost – and he managed to sound bitter and pleased at the same time (Yamapi didn't even know it was actually possible to inflict two contradictory emotions at the same time in the same breath).

Feeling cheered already at the fact he wasn't the only person who got disturbed by such public display, he gave the other boy a little upward curve at the corner of his lips, showing just a ghost of a smile. “Uchi's going to get furious the moment he learnt that Ryo kind of cheating on him.”

Kame raised an inquiry brow at him lazily.

Yamapi only gestured at the Uchi-look-alike with his chin.

Kame stared at him like he was mad. “What are you even on about? Why would Uchi get mad when it is only him and Ueda keeping Ryo busy there?”

His eyebrows immediately went up to his hairline. _“What?”_ against his earlier resolve, he squinted his eyes to the dance floor again, and examined that Uchi-look-alike more closely. He couldn't see the details of his face that well, but there was no mistaken the intimate way he moved against Ryo – no stranger would move with such familiar ease, as if he had known him – and Ueda, at that, since Uchi was kissing Ueda over Ryo's shoulder – for years.

That was the one and only Uchi Hiroki, alright.

He made a face. Considering that the last time he had seen him his hair was dirty blond instead of black like right now, he felt it was only natural for him to mistake Uchi for someone else.

“Yassu must have invited him.” Kame was saying, “you know how those two are kind of close.”

Yamapi looked at him. “Remind me again why Kanjani members are also here, when this was supposed to be only for KAT-TUN and NEWS members only?”

“Because Jin insisted, and there was no stopping Yokoyama from crashing this celebration if we didn't invite them?” Kame smiled, slow and sure, so _unguarded_ that Yamapi started to think it was actually not Kame after all and only his look-alike.

He dismissed that thought on the account that Jin had asked him to keep an eye on _this_ Kame, and he doubted his best friend would ever mistake his own bandmate. Besides, it sounded kind of silly.

Then he noticed the lined glasses on the counter Kame was leaning back on, with their various shapes and various colors. He couldn't help be suspicious that Kame might have ordered all kind of drink he saw on the menu and tried them one by one in rapid succession, because it hadn't even an hour since they got here and almost all of those colorful drinks are either empty or only left in a half.

Now he understood why Jin saw it fit to stop the other boy from drinking anymore alcoholic liquor.

In fact, judging from Kame's rather dilated pupils, he wondered if some of those drinks had been doctored also.

Kame turned to him then, still sucking his (doctored-suspected) scotch through his white straw, lips forming a wide guiles smile that couldn't be hidden by the straw hanging from his almost closed mouth, hands closed around his glass.

Then he looked around the counter, and Yamapi realized he was looking for the bartender – probably intending to get some other alcoholic drink in his system. Before he could signaled the bartender over, however, Yamapi distracted him by grabbing his upper arm.

“Hey, don't you think we should get them off the dance floor before they commit a public misconduct?” he said in a rush, words tumbling over before he could help himself.

Jin was so going to owe him for this.

Kame only looked at him funnily. “They _are_ already committing public misconduct.” When Yamapi gaped at him, Kame must have been thinking it was because he didn't get it, for he added, “I don't believe such public display is actually proper, mind you.” One hand holding his glass, he moved as if to wave the bartender over with the other, but Yamapi intercepted his hand before he could.

An eyebrow raised, Kame gave him a look that bordered on amusement and mild curiosity. “If I didn't know better, I would have thought you have some weird fascination over my arm.”

Mind going a mile a second, he tries to find a topic of conversation that would distract the other enough from ordering any more drink, but considering they weren't so much friends as colleagues, and not a close one at that, and taking also the fact they had been out of touch for a good while – not counting all the formal obligatory greetings which felt way too terse for his taste – it was understandable he felt more than a little lost.

He remembered their Nobuta days, but it was days long passed, and many things must have changed.

He knew he had.

“...and it still surprised me how you could not notice somebody who is right in front of you and whose hand you're holding.”

Yamapi blinks. Then his eyes widened as he realized he still had Kame's hand in his. He opened his mouth to speak, but found words fail him, and immediately closed it again. He tried again, only to repeat the same performance. He frowned at himself in disbelief.

There was a pleased sound – something more than a chuckle, but not quite a laugh – that escaped Kame's lips as he looked at him amusedly, that bright twinkle light shone almost mischievously in his sharp eyes.

That light in his eyes momentarily stunned him – for how rarely he had seen it, if at all – until he heard Kame say “How you managed to be the spokesperson of NEWS remains a mystery to me, since you appear to have lost your speaking ability whenever you're around people.” in a dry voice.

He squeaked indignantly and instantly came to himself. “It's only when I'm around certain person! I mean, people! People!”

“Sure.” Kame said, entirely unconvinced. And then he added, “...certain person?” in a tone that suggested he knew who exactly this person was.

So much for hoping his slip went unnoticed. “ _People._ ” He repeated in emphasis.

Kame laughed, a bright tinkling sound that wasn't really noticeable in this noisy club, but still Yamapi was mesmerized by it just the same – it wasn't that often the boy could get unaware and unguarded enough to let himself go after all.

“So. Are you in a trouble?” he tried again.

Kame sent him a glance, looking mildly curious. “And you care because...?”

he shrugged. “I don't think our concerts celebration would warrant all these drinks.” It wasn't an answer, and they both knew it.

“You're right – it doesn't.” Kame said around a dream-like smile. “But I'm still celebrating, even if it's not in the name of the success of our concerts.”

“Really.” He was tasting one of Kame 's half-empty glass, the one with violet-colored liquid and a matching purple umbrella in it. He put it back on the counter after the first sip. Now he knew some of these drinks were really doctored. Some expensive stuff too, if he knew anything about it. “Then why does it feel like you're mourning?”

it was meant only as an off-handed comment, but Kame's eyes flickered with something, and now Yamapi was genuinely curious. Kame tried to move away, or call the bartender, but Yamapi pulled his trapped hand and forced him to sit back down – quite easily, since he appeared to have lost some of his bearings at the moment.

Kame glared at him.

Even obviously drunk as he was, his glare didn't lose any of its fire. Yamapi was rather impressed.

“Why don't you tell the class?” he asked, fingers sliding from Kame's hand to his wrist, anchoring him firmly in place. “I heard misery loves company.”

“Perhaps I just don't want a pity party.” Kame snarled, almost managed to keep his words from slurring.

He tried to search his memory for a private news regarding the other boy, but the most recent that he could find was dated around four or five months ago – around the time Kame was filming that boxing drama – about the rumored break-up with a fellow senior artist twice Kame's age. There was of course, some rumor about a fight within KAT-TUN group, but he didn't think Kame would waste his time worrying about something he damn knew well to be untrue.

“This,” he gestured to the glasses milling the counter surface with his free hand, “looks like something that has been brewing for a while, like some pent up that finally gets an outlet. Repressed, aren't you?” God knew the word 'repressed' could be used to define all things Kamenashi Kazuya. Repressed emotions, repressed urges, repressed ambitions, repressed personal life... the list went on. “This is so unbecoming of the unofficial leader of a famous group, you realize.”

Kame snorted. “Says the guy who got caught making out with his _girlfriend_ in his own car by the media.”

But strangely, there was no heat in that statement. Kame sounded merely...tired.

“Oh God.” Yamapi exclaimed as it finally hit him. “You're a truly repressed bastard, aren't you? It was months ago! One would think you'd get over her by now.”

Kame made a face. “Why would I try to get over something that's never been there in the first place?” he didn't look at him.

“Is that what you've been telling the media?” Yamapi said, hoping his amusement didn't show through. And in a slightly lower voice, he added, “...and yourself?”

“I still don't see why this should concern you.”

“It doesn't. But we're friends, aren't we?” which was a total bluff. Having the same best friend didn't mean they were friends of each other, and they were really not. But having the ever serious and careful Kamenashi Kazuya this inebriated that he spilled everything and couldn't do anything to stop himself from slipping was the rarest of the rare occasions, and who was he to pass this up?

Logic might call this 'taking advantage'.

It was a good thing Yamapi was not a logical person.

Kame continued to glare at him.

“But hey, at least you decided to let go.” Yamapi shrugged. “Better late than never.”

“...I thought this wasn't a pity party.” The venom he inflicted into that sentence might have scared lesser people.

“Oh please. There's a line between sympathy and pity.” He snorted. “Pity would be me fucking you senseless till you can't even remember your own name.”

Kame stared at him. Then he rolled his eyes and said, “That is the worst pick up line ever.” Then he set his half-empty scotch on the counter with a soft _clink_.

Again, Yamapi's eyes widened as he realized what it was that he was saying. “What?!” he spluttered indignantly. “You – I – it was not –“ then he noticed the hard look on Kame's face, and he instantly stopped himself. Eyes narrowed, he bit out, “Is that a _challenge?_ ”

The corners of Kame's lips curved upwards, forming a line that was definitely not a smile, but not quite a smirk. “O – ho. It seems I'm not the only one with repressed issue.”

“I'm not anybody's replacement.”

“Nobody says you are.” Kame said, looking him up and down, before raising an eyebrow. “For once, you're missing certain female equipments to be one.”

Life was so unfair. Even wasted as he was, Kame still managed to get him flustered and disoriented.

“I'm not even wasted.” Yamapi said resignedly, wondering what he had gotten himself into. There was no question about Kame, though.

“You might want to revise that statement in the morning.” Kame said quietly.

If Yamapi didn't know better, he would have thought Kame was providing a way out for him should he feel the need to deny everything afterwards. That was almost... sweet, if not sad. And downright miserable. Now he realized why Kame always seemed so repressed.

“I know what I'm doing.” he balked, Kame's last statement irritated him for some indiscernible reason.

Kame shrugged, eyes anywhere but him. “Suit yourself.”

Things went rather hazy afterwards. He remembered Taguchi, Hina and Ohkura trying to stop Ryo's public display in the dance floor. He also remembered telling Jin he was taking Kame home. He remembered driving all the way to Kame's flat, remembered 'accidentally' groping Kame's jeans pockets to find his keys, remembered the way Kame giggled at his fleeting touch.

He remembered Kame pushing him against the door as soon as they were inside, Kame's lips meeting his in a way that could only be described as frantic, whispering _if you want to back down, you should do it now._

He remembered pressing Kame closer to him as an answer, remembered pushing him backwards and guiding him to the bedroom slowly without ever letting him go, remembered tearing Kame's shirt and sliding both their jeans down before towering over the other's slightly smaller frame and feeling sharp knees and bony elbows and too thin body under his hands. He remembered kissing Kame's neck, finding a sensitive spot just behind his left ear, while Kame arched against him all the while. He remembered teasing him until he growled in frustration before he finally sliding into him, swallowing Kame's cries into his mouth and erasing his tears with his tongue, Kame's sharp nails digging into his shoulders.

He remembered crashing bonelessly on top of Kame afterwards, kissing him with tenderness that was absent from their previous kisses, Kame's fingers tangled in his hair. He remembered rolling to his side before gathering Kame into his arms and putting his chin on top of his hair, Kame's half-hearted protest muffled against his chest. He remembered pulling the sheet over them before falling asleep, a small content smile on his lips.

He vaguely remembered Kame muttering what sounded like _you stupid fool_ and _how could you be so stupid_ onto his chest, but that could also be his imagination.

*

“What are you doing?”

Yamapi spun around, only to find Kame leaning against the kitchen door in a plain white t-shirt and a pair of pajama bottom, hands crossed in front of his chest, hair a mess and face sleepy, looking like he was still half-asleep.

“Making pancakes.” He replied like it was the most natural thing in the world, turning back to the stove. “Good timing. I was just going to wake you up. It's already eight in the morning, after all.”

Kame made some strange noises that seemed like a protest. “I mean, why are you here?” he asked again, gesturing to the kitchen with his right hand.

He turned the stove off and put the last pancake on a piling on the table before facing Kame and giving him an easy smile. “If you're asking why I hadn't run away yet, the answer is because I'm interested in giving us a chance.”

Kame snorted. “All that liquor must have got to your head.” he said off-handedly, easily – _too_ easily.

But Yamapi recognized the denial for what it was. “I seem to recall I told you I wasn't drunk. At all.”

Kame looked at him exasperatedly, the beginning of a laugh on the corner of his lips. “What is this? You can't be seriously proposing me, can you?” then he looked at Yamapi, and all humor suddenly gone from his face. He swallowed. “Oh my God. You're serious.”

Yamapi almost rolled his eyes – he didn't though. Trust Kame to be so dramatic about it. “I don't see a reason why you would object. I'm single, you just broke up, we're colleagues, we had had a great sex – “ Kame spluttered indignantly at this, “- and we have a mutual best friend that can be our confidant. It's a great arrangement, I dare say.”

There was a moment of silence, in which Yamapi waited for Kame's reaction and Kame seemed to be at a loss to what to say.

“Also, I'm older than you.” He added in case that little fact went forgotten. “I can also be funny, and I know I can be wise and act mature when the situation demands it.”

Kame stared. “Have you been reading my interviews?” he demanded, a tinge of faint pink decorated his cheeks.

Yamapi shrugged. “I like to keep up with my colleagues' activities.” He didn't mention it was only because he found his friends' answers to romance-related questions hilarious – especially those of Maruyama, Yoko, Koki and Nakamaru's – or downright lame and cliché – Taguchi's – or just plain weird – Subaru, Hina and Shige's, for example.

But then the other boy made some funny noises – of frustration, as it might be the case – and said, “Look, how can you be sure this isn't some kind of mistake or a mixed-up? We barely know each other, and –“

He yawned. “Too much of a Good Boy to be caught making mistakes, aren't you?” he pronounced Good Boy in the same way one might pronounce 'dead bodies' or 'rotten vegetable' – which wasn't flattering, to say the least.

Kame's eyes flashed dangerously. “Is that a _challenge_?”

Slowly, he brought his eyes to meet Kame's, trying his hardest to sound nonchalant. “If you prefer it.”

 _One step at a time,_ his mother always told him. _One step at a time, be patient and take no hurry. Enjoy the journey, and before you know it, you'd have already reached your destination._ He was a man of action; too bad he tended to act before thinking it through first. He didn't know why he didn't bolt up the moment he woke up and found Kame in his arms, fast asleep. He didn't even know why he bothered to take Kame up on his silly challenge last night. He only knew that he wanted this, wanted Kame to want him back, wanted Kame to show him – and only him – the other side of him, the side with the gleeful smile and mischievous eyes that none seemed to know about.

He wanted him – and that was enough reason, for now.

“You're unbelievable.” Kame said in defeat after what felt like forever, sighing, his posture seemed to sag a bit as the tension left his body.

“Why, thank you.” Yamapi said, trying – and failing – to stop himself from grinning stupidly. “I'll take that as a 'Yes'.”

He knew he was patient enough to make it to the end.

  
 **ii.**

 **Or maybe It began like this:**

He was having lunch with Kame, and so far, it went surprisingly well.

KAT-TUN were going to New York to have their photoshoots, and it was only natural for Kame to ask Yamapi for advice since NEWS had just come back from America a few days ago.

Yamapi told him places he had visited when he was there: the public parks, museums, Chinatown, big streets that would be good as a background pictures, fancy restaurants, even some random ice cream parlors. Kame listened and listened and listened and sometimes wrote something down on his little notebook, occasionally let out some 'mmm' sounds in agreement.

Yamapi rather suspected their lunch went well only because he kept speaking while Kame kept listening without putting his heart in it. Kame even let him pay the bill, when usually he would always insist that he should be the one paying since he was the one who invited Yamapi out, and then Yamapi would claim loudly that he was older and a senior, and thus it would only be proper if he was the one paying. More often than not, Kame won by stealing the receipt before the waiter who brought it reached their table. Yamapi thought it was unfair since Kame was thinner and thus have more agility than Yamapi, but everytime he voiced this out, Kame only looked at him weird – the kind of weird that always made him feel all funny inside.

They walked side by side on the way back, an uncomfortable silence stretched between them, although Yamapi was sure Kame didn't even notice it.

“Come on, spill it.” Yamapi blurted suddenly in a rather loud voice, snapping Kame out of his reverie and stopping him in his track.

Kame only looked at him confusedly. “What?”

“We both know this couldn't be the only reason you sought me out right before you're going to the country where Jin currently resides in.”

Kame flinched.

Yamapi kind of felt sorry for him. After all, he wasn't the one whose bandmate ran off to other countries for God-knows-what reason. “Are you going to keep me waiting?”

The other boy hesitated a bit longer before finally asked, “How – how was he?” he didn't look at him.

“Very well.” Yamapi shrugged. “In need of a bit of exercise perhaps.” He added in a teasing tone, earning him a soft smile from Kame.

“I see.” Kame bit his lip. “Did he – did he happen to mention us? Any of us?”

Yamapi's eyes softened. “Yeah. Yeah, he did. He told me he missed you guys.”

But then to his surprise, instead of being cheered or relieved, Kame let out a short, hollow laugh – one that didn't have any mirth in it, one that was born almost out of despair. It wasn't a nice laugh.“I almost hoped you weren't lying, but then I – then I remember that you're not exactly my friend, so of course you wouldn't try to comfort me.”

Yamapi opened his mouth to voice out his protest, but then he realized it was the truth; they weren't friends. A few awkward lunches together didn't make them friends. Being in the same agency didn't make them friends. Meeting in the formal gatherings of their agency didn't make them friends.

Then Kame made a horrible sound in his throat, almost as if he was trying to swallow back the same terrifying laugh that threatened to surface once again. “Sorry – It's just... I'm – I'm in a panic, I guess. I mean, we're going to meet Jin again in a week and I've been having horrible dreams where he refused to meet us. So I'm – I'm sorry, okay? I'm really sorry. Oh God, I'm really pathetic, aren't I?” he chuckled, obviously trying – and failing – to sound anything but miserable.

He looked down at his shoes then, his long bangs covering his eyes from Yamapi's view. He didn't say anything more, and just let the uneasy silence settle between them again. Yamapi noticed his hands were shaking, despite the weather not being that cold.

No, they weren't friends, and all those things still didn't make them friends. But having a mutual best friend that ran off on them without a word to a different continent altogether should have made them something – not friends, but definitely something.

That was what he kept telling himself as he drew closer to Kame, took his hands in his, and shuffled them into his jacket pockets without so much as a word.

Kame's breath hitched.

Right. He must be surprised. “I don't know about you, but my hands feel so cold.” He said to the top of Kame's head. And it wasn't like he was lying either. His hands did feel cold, if only because the heat got stolen by Kame's freezing hands. “It's better like this, don't you think? Warmer, I mean.” He attempted a smile, but Kame's was still bowed and he didn't look at him.

They were standing close together – close enough to be hugging – and invading each other's personal space far more than considered proper, and with both Kame's and his hands on either pockets of his jacket, to onlookers, they might as well be embracing each other – even though they were really not.

“Yeah, it's quite warm.” Kame said softly, breathing slower than could be considered normal – almost as if he was trying carefully not to breathe too loud or too fast in fear of breaking this momentary silence.

“It's gonna be alright.” He said in his sincerest voice. He really was never good at this comforting people thing.

“Do you think he will come back to us?” he asked quietly.

“It's not my place to ask him such thing.” He tried to squeeze Kame's hands to reassure him, but so far, Kame still didn't move a muscle.

“Ah.” Kame let out a soft laugh then, one that didn't have a hysterical edge in it, and Yamapi thought it was quiet a nice sound. “I really hope he will, though. And not only because Koki's so going to kill him and dispose the body from the Golden Bridge should he refuse to come back to us.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “Oh? And considering this is Koki we're talking about, I suppose there'd be also retribution should Jin decide to come back.”

Kame laughed – an honest to God laugh, and Yamapi decided he liked the sound of it. “Yeah. Said he would pretend to refuse letting Jin come back to us and let Jin be miserable and sorry for a week before he could forgive him. I think it's because his wounded manly pride couldn't let him be all nice about it despite the fact it's obvious to anyone that he's the one missed Jin the most.” he added in conspiratorial tone.

He smiled and gave Kame's hands an experimental squeeze. “I see. Glad I'm not Jin at the moment.”

Ever so hesitantly, Kame's hands slowly intertwined their fingers together inside Yamapi's jacket pockets, and he would be lying if he didn't say he was pleasantly surprised – especially when he saw the pink tinge on the tips of Kame's ears.

He was going to be horribly late to his appointment, but being this close to the other boy, he couldn't bring himself to mind it.

“Hey,” Yamapi began, “Since it's a pain to always ask either one of the TaNaka pair every time I need to meet you, how about you give me your private numbers? I'll give you mine, too, and then we can have another lunch tomorrow! Or dinner, if you prefer it.” He added almost as an afterthought.

There was a muffled noises that sounded suspiciously like a giggle from the direction of his chest before Kame replied, “Your pick up line definitely leaves much to be desired.”

Yamapi spluttered indignantly, and all he managed to say was, “Hey!”

“...but at least it's not the worst I've ever had.”

Yamapi blinked. “...is that a yes?”

Kame shrugged before taking a step back, head still carefully bowed. Yamapi was almost disappointed at the loss of the feel of his cool fingers.

“You decide.” And then he turned around and ran with all he was worth, leaving a very shocked Yamapi in his wake.

...And how was exactly he supposed to decide? Running out on your partner without even giving a proper reply naturally counted as a... rejection, right? Did that mean he was...rejected?

He sighed.

Then he tried to find his cellphone in his right jacket pocket, only to come up with an entirely different cellphone that he had no memory of ever having seen before. He stared at it. It blinked innocently in the sunlight at him.

It suddenly rang, and from the caller ID on the flat screen, Yamapi's numbers winked at him.

Then it dawned at him, and he was barely able to suppress his grin when he pressed the small device to his ear. He didn't even realize his phone got swapped at all. “Decided to be a cellphone thief, didn't you?” he said to the person on the other line.

It was definitely a 'Yes'.

  
 **iii.**

 **Or perhaps it even began like this:**

Yamapi was sitting on one of the chairs in KAT-TUN's practice room, with Jin sending him worried looks from one corner of the room, Junno a curious one, Koki hissing and glaring daggers and other pointy objects at the back of his head, and Ueda ignoring him.

So yeah, he thought he was more than justified to feel nervous.

When the door finally opened after what felt like forever to admit the last two members of KAT-TUN, Yamapi almost leap out of his seat to greet the newcomers.

...and instantly winced when he saw Kame's face.

His lower lip was split, and his left cheek still had that purplish color even after two days.

“We need to talk.” Yamapi said to Kame without preamble before either of him or Maru could recover from their shock at finding him there.

“The hell you do!” Koki roared. He tried to jump Yamapi, but Ueda 'accidentally' slipped him and he fell face first onto the floor.

Yamapi promised himself to thank Ueda later.

Maru, arms crossed, eyed him calmly in a way that made his hair stand on end and his skin crawl in fear. Then Maru opened his mouth to speak—

“It's alright.” Kame said to Maru, touching his upper arm. “I told you this is only a misunderstanding.” He finished it with a smile.

Maru looked at Kame hesitantly, but a second later he only sighed and moved out of the way. Kame nodded once to Ueda before going back out and motioning to Yamapi to follow him.

He wasted no time in getting out of the room.

Kame led him to the roof, where the sun shone so brightly over them and the wind blew as harsh as it could. Then he leaned back against the railing and gave Yamapi a carefully blank look. “So?”

“So.” Yamapi fidgeted nervously with the hem of his loose shirt.

Kame rolled his eyes. “Don't know bout you, but I haven't got all day here. Just say whatever you want so we can go our own ways.”

He suddenly felt irritated for some reason, and his irritation pushed back his nervousness. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.”

Kame snorted. “You need to be more specific than that.”

Yamapi let out a growl of frustration. Trust Kame to make this difficult. “I'm so sorry over what happened that day, alright? I mean it; I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like that; you've got to believe me.”

“Smooth; very smooth. Can't even lie to save yourself, can you?” Kame said, eyes mocking, one corner of his mouth turned up just so, forming a sneering line. Combined with his split lip and bruised cheek, he was making quite a sight.

“Look, what else do you want me to say?!”

“Admitting what a hypocrite you are, for a starter. Followed by confessing what a big liar and a manipulative bastard you actually are, for example.” He spat out in contempt, eyes cold with hidden fury.

That stung. He didn't know what to expect when he finally got a chance to talk to Kame, but this definitely wasn't it. “Is that all you think of me?” he asked quietly.

Kame cocked his head to the side. “I'm not used to, to be honest. But you gave me no choice when you humiliated me in such a way. And the fact that it actually made the paper didn't make it any better.”

“I know; I know.” He sighed tiredly. “I just want to say I'm sorry that that incident made it to the paper, and I'm sorry for the way things ended rather unexpectedly that day, and I'm sorry if you felt so humiliated, because it wasn't at all my intention. I'm sorry, I really am.” then in a much more quiet voice, he added, “But I'm not sorry – I'm not sorry for punching you, and I especially am not sorry for kissing you that day – I really am not.”

Kame's eyes narrowed. “Tell me one reason – one reason only – why I shouldn't punch you back or turn you into a pulp like Koki has offered to do for my sake.”

Slowly, ever so slowly, he raised his eyes to meet Kame's, straightened his posture, and took a deep breath to calm his erratic heartbeat. It was now or never.

“Because I'm in love with you.”

Until that moment, he never knew that a silence could be so deafening, so...frightening. He tried to read Kame's face, but it was like trying to read a crumpled paper that had been written over and over again until you couldn't tell anymore which one was which – all the emotions were there, hovering on the surface, but they were just too tangible and you had no way to tell them apart, let alone analyzing them.

“Really.” Kame said after forever, voice bland.

“I really meant it this time.” He told him, knowing it would have little to no effect.

“Then you really have a twisted way of showing it.” His tone was still bland and careful, but there was something in it that made Yamapi feel like he had been given another chance.

“I freaked out, alright? I freaked out! I looked at you and then suddenly I felt like kissing you, and I was – I was terrified.” He looked down at his shoes. “I mean, I looked at Jin, but I didn't feel the urge to kiss him – despite the fact that he is my best friend, I spend more time with him than with you, and I know him more than I know you. And then there was also Nagasawa Masami, who was beautiful and cute and wonderful, and who was also supposed to be my love interest in my latest drama, and yet it was the same with Jin; I looked at her, but other than admiration and respect, I didn't feel anything else, and I certainly didn't have the urge to worship her with my tongue—”

Kame coughed.

Yamapi frowned. And blinked. Then his eyes widened as he realized what it was that he had been saying. _Oh Dear God in Heaven, Please kill me now._

He stole a look at Kame. The other boy looked quite taken aback, and seemed to at a loss of what to say. But Yamapi had to admit that the bright red color that currently taking residence on Kame's face and ears and even his neck were certainly had its own appeal.

Kame coughed again. “Well, at least we've established a reason as to why you kissed me. But,” Kame gave him a scrutinizing look, “That still didn't explain why you punched me right after you kissed me.” Here Kame sent him a 'Don't You Dare To Fuck with Me or Else' look.

Yamapi had the gale to look guilty. “It's because... well. Um.”

Kame tapped his finger on the railings. “I'm waiting.”

“It just... when I was kissing you, I heard steps coming our way, and I got panicked. Then I realized it would be easier to explain – and not to mention also less scandalous – if we got caught fighting rather than kissing, and there you go.” He winced. “Sorry.”

Kame's face was completely impassive. “I seem to recall seeing a picture of you kissing Tegoshi in a magazine.”

“That was a totally innocent kiss that ended as soon as my lips touched Tegoshi's cheek.” He said dispassionately. “Besides, if we did get caught kissing instead of me punching you, how are you going to explain my tongue down your throat?”

There was a pregnant pause.

Kame winced. “Okay, so you have a point.” Yamapi silently did a triumphant dance in his mind. Then Kame shifted, looking a bit uncomfortable. “So. What now?”

Yamapi shrugged. “I don't know. Fancy going out with me?”

Now Kame looked really, _really_ uncomfortable. “Um. I have to go. Yes, that's it. I need to go. Like, right now. So, um, see you later.” And then he made his way to the stairs as fast as he could without appearing as if he was running away – as the case seemed to be.

Yamapi watched him amusedly. Then just before Kame reached the stairs, he called, “You don't need to answer right away. But if you do--” he swallowed, “--if you'd like to give us a chance, please show up at the Nobuta wo Produce's set in two weeks – that's when the filming will start. I know they've offered you a role, too. And if you didn't show – if you didn't show up then, I'm going to stop bothering you.”

Kame didn't reply.

“For the record, I really do hope you're gonna show up.”

A pause. Then, “We'll see.” And off he went, leaving a hopeful Yamapi in his wake.

He really couldn't wait for this couple of weeks to pass by.

  
 **iv.**

 **Or Perhaps this is how it truly began:**

There was a boy that hid behind Jin, and no matter what Jin said, the boy refused to come forward.

The boy was shorter than them both and thin as stick. He got sharp eyes that always directed at the ground, high cheekbones, long face, weird bushy eyebrows, weird thin lips, and weird cropped hair. He was awkward, incredibly shy, unbelievably quiet and he walked weird. He also always followed Jin everywhere.

Jin adored him like crazy.

Yamapi just thought he was weird.

But as he watched the boy laughed with Jin and got involved in an animated conversation, watched him become alive and shine, watched him try his hardest in every dance practice, watched him speak with apparent confidence in a situation he had no experience over, watched him watch Yamapi back before he lowered his eyes out of embarrassment of getting caught, watched him develop a blush that covered his entire face and even his ears and neck whenever he was deeply embarrassed, he thought to himself: _I want that._

And the next time he met the boy again, he declared loudly to the boy, “I think I like you, but I don't wanna be your friend. Is that okay?”

As the boy blinked and Jin spluttered, he gave them both a toothy charming grin that came so naturally for a fifteen-year-old boy like him.

 _Yes,_ Yamapi thought as the blush climbed its way to the boy's cheeks, _I want that._

The boy's name was Kamenashi Kazuya.

  
 **Fin.**


End file.
